I really find it hard to believe that I am actually where I am at right now. I am laying on a bed in a hotel in Lanzhou, China anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new son tomorrow.
These words may not trip you out as much as me, but in a lot of ways I still find it hard to believe. It has taken about a year to get through this process that at times has felt like forever but the day is finally upon us.
I really can’t put into words what I am feeling right now, so naturally writing a blog post makes a lot of sense.
As a father to three other children I am not inexperienced with the anticipation that comes with the arrival of a new child. With both of my girls I also knew the date they would come since my wife was induced. My son didn’t feel like waiting for his induction date and came a few days early.
But obviously this one is different. My new son is already three and a half and has developed some of the skills and abilities that you would expect at that age. He does have some special needs that we will gain a better understanding of once we get him back home.
Oh yeah, and he only speaks Chinese.
So while I have never been able to communicate with any of my other children on the day they were first in my arms, this one is going to try, and I will have no idea what he is saying. It is hard enough as a parent when you are trying to love your child and give them everything they need but I worry about the struggles we will face as we all get used to each other.
I know that it will all work out, and that there will inevitably be some bumps along the way but isn’t that what life is all about? Moving forward in pursuit of what you know to be right. Finding things that you can put your whole heart behind no matter how daunting the task may be. Relying on those that you love most to fill in the gaps where you have weaknesses and working together to do something more grand and amazing than you ever could have imagined.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to stand on the Great Wall of China and wonder at the sacrifices and effort that countless people put into building that wall. I wonder how many of them really understood what they were doing, and how they would have felt if they had known it’s full purpose. With that being said, the work of those people has lasted thousands of years as a testament to their dedication and devotion to accomplishing something far more incredible and inspiring than they likely ever imagined.
So as I lay here wondering how this first day together will go tomorrow, other than the obvious waterworks that will be flowing from my eyes, I do have a certain sense of peace knowing that this little boy has the ability to change the world and leave a mark far more lasting than even a wall that is thousands of miles long and thousands of years old. He will ultimately choose his path and determine what that mark will actually be, I just hope that I can play my role well when I enter his life tomorrow.